The city of Chicago is steadily recovering from an overnight snowstorm that delayed hundreds of murders on Friday morning and will likely continue to push numerous homicides across the city drastically behind schedule, public authorities announced.
"As we speak, maintenance crews are working diligently to
restore public transportation, de-ice roads, and clear back alleyways so
that Chicagoans can quickly resume murdering again."
Department of Streets and Sanitation
spokesman Dave Michelson said of the heavy blizzard, which caused
numerous homicide cancellations this morning at peak murder times.
"Unfortunately we're backed up by about 35 deadly shootings at the moment, but we hope to restore regular death tolls as soon as possible. We apologize to anyone forced to postpone shootings or other killings today and assure concerned murderers that they will be able to resume slayings by the early afternoon."
"Unfortunately we're backed up by about 35 deadly shootings at the moment, but we hope to restore regular death tolls as soon as possible. We apologize to anyone forced to postpone shootings or other killings today and assure concerned murderers that they will be able to resume slayings by the early afternoon."
At press time, authorities reported
that murders were up and running in many parts of the city, with four
teenagers already gunned down on Chicago's South Side.
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